Wow.

This post is mostly just for me. If you read it, that's fine...but this is mostly me just writing my thoughts...Ever since getting divorced, I've been so fragile. I seem to be dealing with a lot of confidence issues. I've had a hell of a time dealing with critisizm as of late. I take things so personally. It's like I want to fight the whole world...I know I can't. It used to not bother me so much when people talk behind my back, but now it seems like it happens all the time. I keep asking myself, "what is wrong with me?" I never used to need everyone else's approval. Now I want it all the time...I sometimes feel sad. Sometimes I feel lonely. Sometimes I feel like a loser. I know everybody goes through funks, but It doesn't make things easier. I have lots of great friends, but I feel like something's missing. I feel like there's a big whole in my heart. I really just want to be happy in life, but I don't know how to get there. I felt pretty good the last couple of weeks, but tonight I feel down again. It's 1am & I feel so alone. So sad. Maybe, I shouldn't date right now. Maybe I'm not ready. I just feel like I will always get hurt. I feel like I am not good enough. I want to be close to someone. Maybe, I am just trying too hard. I don't know. Maybe, I need some help. I am not sure. I just want to wake up & be happy! Happy with who I am and what I've accomplished. Life is too short to feel this way.